January 9, 2012   102 notes

beware the siren call of #menswear

Anonymous asked:

I feel like menswear bloggers would be better dates than real life men. How does a single, young, lady go about meeting one?

oh dear blogger,

my heart goes out to you.  for the fortune you seek, the riches you desire, the bounty you crave, it lies not with the #menswear bloggers.  or any blogger for that matter.

a blogger is a representation of someone.

a carefully presented essay.  it is truthful, but not whole.  a mere sliver of a personality.  it may only represent at most, 25% of someone’s personality.  more likely its closer to 5%.

i can take all the time i want to prepare a witty answer to a response.  i can photoshop and choose which photos are posted.  i can do take after take of musical recordings. i can make sure i am presented in a generous light.  for the internet is an unforgiving mistress.  and i must please her.

also think of it this way.

these menswear bloggers, which you desire so, they love clothing, rap music, and eating.  at least that is what i can surmise.  that is hardly enough to justify a date with someone as awesome as you.  instead, you should have them queueing up for you.

begging.

pleading.

crawling on their bellys like the dogs that they are.

well dressed dogs, in cordovan collars, barking in unison.

"STEEZ, TRAPWEAR, SOFT SHOULDER"  BARK BARK.

but i digress.

what is it that you seek?  a witty man, who can present himself with gusto and a certain carefree attitude?

sure you do.  what else could a young girl want.  someone who is funny, caring, and dashing.

but know that most writers have shit personalities.  most bloggers are narcissists (myself included)  most menswear bros, are just that, bros.  

a new fraternity.

Lambda, Alpha, Omega Seamaster.  

party all night.  blog all day.  post at dawn, refresh ‘til dusk.

BUT DONT YOU DARE CALL IT FASHION.

the only thing more offensive than the term square toe, even more evil than boot-cut, more heinous than skinny ties, is the term “mens fashion”

"there is no such thing as mens fashion" they say.

there is mens style.

for fashion, is a feminine term.  an antiquated term.

we have always been at war with eastasia.

more digressing.

full digression.

phew.

for arguments sake, lets say you are fully committed to snatch up a #menswear bro.

here is how you do it.

your kit:

1.) wear said kit around nyc.  

2.) smile.

rinse and repeat.

they will come a runnin’

this i promise you.

happy hunting,

alex

  1. cuccho reblogged this from mrdangerknowsbest
  2. allyyeow reblogged this from mrdangerknowsbest and added:
    This. This right here. It’s fucking gold. Ahahaha.
  3. earlyhunting reblogged this from mrdangerknowsbest and added:
    Pretty much true across the board. i.e....all I got were stares while I was
  4. kokocort reblogged this from theclotheshorse
  5. theclotheshorse reblogged this from roguebicycles and added:
    all of this is amazing & I second the vote for tacos
  6. enderwiggin03 reblogged this from mrdangerknowsbest and added:
    Replace NYC with DC and I’ll replace my wingtips with running shoes.
  7. condescendist reblogged this from cbenjamin and added:
    must…. attain….. #menswear ….. status….
  8. roguebicycles reblogged this from hollystair and added:
    OH MAN WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP AND WE CAN ALL GO GET TACOS.
  9. hollystair reblogged this from cbenjamin and added:
    IMA HOP IN HERE REAL QUICK. Oh men, you all go bananas! You all have valid points. But this is girlish. Think about the...
  10. livelifealittlelovely reblogged this from threadandsalt